I have a to-do list about a mile long. I want to have my whole apartment deep cleaned before I bring home the baby. I want to organize all of our stuff in our basement so I don't have to when we move in like 10 months. The room that will be the baby's room is currently more like a storage room then a bedroom. So I need to go through and pack up everything to put it in the basement. I wanted to make this baby a quilt, but that isn't looking like it is going to happen before the baby gets here. I am just feeling a tad overwhelmed by how much stuff I have going on.
Then, on the other hand, I am sitting here panicked about how little time I have with just Lacey. I'm rushing around trying to check off everything on my to-do list, and I've forgotten to enjoy the last couple weeks of it just being me and Lacey all day. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be using my time to make sure she knows how loved she is. Make sure we get out of the house as often as we can because I don't know how often we will be going out once the baby arrives. It's probably silly to feel like such a failure, it isn't like I'm going to completely ignore Lacey once the baby comes. I just know that my relationship with her is going to be different, and that scares me a little.
I love that my world can usually revolve all around her. I love that she is a mommy's girl. I love that I can usually drop what I am doing to play with her or help her. I love that she trusts me, and wants me when she is in pain. In the next month, I don't know if I will be able to do those things and be those things for her anymore.