Monday, August 1, 2016

Worries and To-dos

My best friend out here in Milwaukee was due 2.5 weeks before me. We were so excited to have our babies so close together! She ended up having her little boy, Kaden, last week (2.5 weeks early). Although I'm pretty sure that my baby won't be coming early it kind of got me thinking about how unprepared I am for this one.

I have a to-do list about a mile long. I want to have my whole apartment deep cleaned before I bring home the baby. I want to organize all of our stuff in our basement so I don't have to when we move in like 10 months. The room that will be the baby's room is currently more like a storage room then a bedroom. So I need to go through and pack up everything to put it in the basement. I wanted to make this baby a quilt, but that isn't looking like it is going to happen before the baby gets here. I am just feeling a tad overwhelmed by how much stuff I have going on. 

Then, on the other hand, I am sitting here panicked about how little time I have with just Lacey. I'm rushing around trying to check off everything on my to-do list, and I've forgotten to enjoy the last couple weeks of it just being me and Lacey all day. I feel guilty. I feel like I should be using my time to make sure she knows how loved she is. Make sure we get out of the house as often as we can because I don't know how often we will be going out once the baby arrives. It's probably silly to feel like such a failure, it isn't like I'm going to completely ignore Lacey once the baby comes. I just know that my relationship with her is going to be different, and that scares me a little. 

I love that my world can usually revolve all around her. I love that she is a mommy's girl. I love that I can usually drop what I am doing to play with her or help her. I love that she trusts me, and wants me when she is in pain. In the next month, I don't know if I will be able to do those things and be those things for her anymore. 

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