Stop dropping your food!!

I know that every child goes through a stage that they drop everything on the floor... but why? Seriously it is so frustrating sometimes. I can't count how many times in a day I have to mop up a sticky mess because Lacey felt like throwing her food off her tray. Scott came home tonight and so I was trying to get the house as clean as possible so I told Lacey that we were trying to make dad happy and she needed to keep her food on the tray. Apparently that did the trick. She would hold a handful of food off the side of her tray and say, "no" then she would put it back over her tray and say "happy." I wish I would have gotten it on camera because it really was kind of funny. No food ended up on the floor during that meal!

That smells good

Lacey has been really into coloring lately. The girl I nanny for has an art set that Lacey is obsessed with. Every time she sees it she asks me to open it for her. It has crayons, pencils, paints, markers. There are a couple markers in the set that are scented and now Lacey has to smell her drawings. It doesn't matter what she is using to color with, she will scribble for a minute and then proceed to lean over and smell her picture. It made sense to me, because I knew why she was doing what she was doing but Scott just thought she was crazy.

Lacey will color for quite a while in one sitting. I wish it was something that would entertain her while I could get something else around the house done, but very close supervision is needed. She loves to color on EVERYTHING... the table, the chairs, the couch, the wall, the floor. I need to keep a close eye on her and tell her, "only on the paper" every couple of minutes. She knows that's the rule too, because she always looks straight at me right before she starts to color where she isn't supposed to.

And now it's his turn

Scott has an away rotation all week. He is spending his time up in Lac Du Flambeau. Somewhere in the middle of nowhere about 5 hours from here. That means that I will be parenting solo for the next 5 days. Right when I get back he has to leave... I'm ready to have my family back. I hope that this week goes by quickly.

Home!

I am so glad to be home. I can't believe how much I missed being away from Lacey and Scott. It was nice to have a little time away, but I appreciate my life a little more now. Yesterday I was all for getting up early and getting home early. I wanted to be back home with my little family. Well, we ended up staying up and talking well into the night. I think it was about 3 in the morning by the time we finally went to bed.

We met some really fun girls whose husbands are going to dental school in San Antonio. They were pretty funny and we had a TON in common. We stayed up laughing and talking for forever. Every time we said we were going to bed the conversation would start up again. I hope that we keep in touch. I know it's silly. We have only known then for a couple days, but I think we could really stay good friends.

I was so anxious the whole way home to get home to Lacey. I was really hoping that Lacey would be excited to see me when I got home, but it was the opposite. Scott and her came to pick me up at one of the girl's houses and Lacey was asleep when they pulled up. I sat in the back next to her, just in case she woke up. She opened her eyes for a second, glared at me and then went back to sleep. After we got home and she was actually awake she was clingy and plain cranky. Everyone said that she was such an angel while I was away. I guess she was saving up all her crankiness for me. Either way, I am so glad to be back home with my little clan.

After 3 nights away, sharing rooms with 3 different people I am happy to be home in my own bed sharing with my one and only.

Finally some fun time!

After listening to a bunch of political stuff this morning during breakfast we were able to go out and see a little bit of Cleveland. Kimmy had been there before so she recommended going to the little farmers market thing they had going on.

We got to try some amazing fruit from some vendors and then we grabbed some lunch before heading back to the hotel. For lunch we grabbed some amazing gyros. They seriously were so yummy. Since getting pregnant I just don't have the appetite that I once had. I was only able to eat half of it before I threw out the rest. Usually I have Scott around to eat all of my left overs.

 After we got back we had to go on a trolley tour of the city. I wish we could have just sat around and hung out in the nice weather all afternoon. The tour was fun, but it was also a little too long. 3 hours, going around in circles.

Then we had our closing gala. We got dressed up... sorta. I'm not huge yet, but any of my nice dresses definitely don't fit me anymore. I look huge in pictures, but really I'm not that big in real life.

Meetings, meetings, meetings

So much for getting a good night's rest. I got to share a room with my friend and her 6 month old baby. He was up for  the majority of the night. I think that my friend felt really bad about it, but there wasn't anything she could do. I started my day off pretty tired and cranky.

From what I had heard about conference it sounded like we would have time to hangout a little, maybe go explore the city. It wasn't like that at all today. I guess we did finish up the day around 6:30 so that gave us some time in the evening to ourselves but I feel like we had not stop things on our itinerary all day long.

In the morning we were able to go listen to a lecture about fraud in the dental office. It was a huge eye opener. The lecturer had lost about 125,000 because his office manager was skimming money from his accounts. How crazy is that? Now I know that the books are something that we definitely want to be keeping a close eye on. Not because we don't trust the person who will be keeping them, but just so we can stay informed about how the practice is doing.

There were several other meetings that pretty much bored me to tears. Luckily, my friend brought her little boy to all of the meetings.  He was a great and much needed distraction during some of the more boring parts of the day.

The last meeting of the day was great. I got a lot of information about the organization and what they do. I also learned a lot about disability insurance, life insurance, and loan consolidation. It was great having a meeting directed right to the student spouses, most of the other meetings were directed toward practicing dentists. The best part of this meeting is that I was able to win a prize! I swear I never win things, but this time I did. I won a Galaxy tablet! How awesome is that? It was a great way to finish off the long day.

After the meetings we went out with a bunch of girls to go get some dessert. We went to a cute little cupcake shop just down the road from the hotel. I'm not a huge cupcake fan, but they were pretty delicious. It was great being able to go out without having to worry about chasing around a toddler.

What a LONG day.

Just as I thought, my day started off with tears as I left Lacey with our neighbor. She didn't even seem to care that I was leaving. I know that she didn't realize how long I would be gone, but she was content just playing with her friend.

Those of you who know me might know that I don't really do well in groups larger than 2 or 3. I am pretty quiet, I don't really talk or take part in what is going on. I become an observer and just watch... I don't know why I do it, but I kind of hate that I do. I guess I do know why I do it, I over analyze everything that I think about saying, but the time the thought is approved the conversation has usually moved onto a completely new topic. I hate talking over people. I decided that this trip would be different I wanted to try and be part of the group instead of worrying about fitting in with these girls. (They all do stuff together, I have a different group of friends that I hang out with regularly so I thought they would be a little clickish)

The drive was long... longer then I thought it would feel. It might have been that the van we rented was so uncomfortable. It might have been the fact that being pregnant in general is just uncomfortable. I don't know, it just seemed to take forever for us to finally get to Cleveland. Once we got there it was just a little awkward. I almost wish I would have stayed home with Lacey. I didn't know anyone. Two of the girls had gone the year before and they knew pretty much everyone. I was a long night of observing...haha.

Before Lacey went to bed I wanted to say good night to her. So I pulled out my phone and did a video call back home. Lacey went crazy she was so sad and all she wanted was her momma. I cried again. Man, that girl really knows how to pull at her mommy's heart strings. Maybe video call wasn't the best idea. I'm glad that she missed me and my life wasn't just obsolete.

I'm leaving...

I'm leaving both Scott and Lacey for 4 days and 3 nights. I decided to attend a dental convention with some of the dental wives out here. We are going to rent a mini van and drive down to Cleveland for a couple days. A part of me is so excited. Another part of me is extremely sad.

Tomorrow morning I am going to drop Lacey off with one of our friends. This is the first time that I have ever left her for more than an hour or two so I have no idea how she is going to react. As soon as Scott gets home from school he will pick her up and have her for the rest of the weekend. A part of me really wants her to be happy and have a great time while I am gone. Then a part of me, a selfish part of me, wants her to be sad and miss me. What if she realizes that she doesn't really need me. What if she is perfectly fine without me? My whole life revolves around that little girl, and I'm afraid that by me leaving she will realize that she doesn't need me.

I know it is so silly to be so worried about everything. It will only be a couple of days. I almost want to call the whole thing off, just stay home and spend the weekend with my cute husband and little girl. I'm already tearing up a little bit just thinking about leaving the two of them. I am sure that tomorrow will be even harder.

Now repeat after me...

Lacey is starting to try and say more words now.  She's like a little parrot. She tries to repeat almost everything I say. Then once she gets a new word down she repays or over and over again.  It's pretty funny.

She's even attempting phrases.  She will say "where are you?" "I love you" and "here you go." Is pretty funny.  Sometimes it's clear as day what she is trying to say, other times I really have to think about it or have her show me.

I feel like every stage we get to it's my favorite. She is really starting to show her personality.  She is friendly, sweet, hungry,  sassy, playful,  and just so much fun.  I can't say it often enough how grateful I am that she is my little girl.

Anatomy Scan

Today I got to see our little peanut. I was kind of hoping to go in, find out it was actually a boy and then plan some elaborate way to surprise Scott. Well, she is still a girl, and I'm still just as excited! I can't wait to see Lacey become a big sister. I can't wait to put the two of them in matching outfits.

The baby looked perfect. She was a little stubborn and the ultrasound took forever, but everything looked great. I wonder if she will look more like me. Lacey is almost 100% Scott, so I would love for this one to look more like me. Maybe as a reward for going through the whole pregnancy. On second thought Lacey is ADORABLE so I would be happy to have an even mini-er Lacey running around.

Better Safe then Sorry?

Maybe this is too much information, but the last week or so Lacey has had some diarrhea. We were thinking that maybe the new toothpaste we were using was the cause. She then started to act sick, she lost her appetite, her nose was super runny, she stopped sleeping through the night, she has been acting miserable. Then tonight she started screaming and pointing at her diaper. She has been complaining about her diaper the last couple of days, I thought it was mostly just because she has been pooping like 6 times a day. Tonight was different, tonight it was screams of pain. I swear the only times I want to talk to a doctor is when it is the weekend or after hours. My first thought was maybe a UTI? I called the after hours line and they told me to take Lacey in to the ER at the children's hospital. That was a long couple of hours. They had to use a catheter to get a urine sample. Turns out everything is fine. I hate being one of those parents that freaks out at every small thing, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

Wahoo! Half Way!

I can't believe I am already 20 weeks! I have my anatomy scan on Monday, can't wait to a) verify it really is a girl and b) make sure this baby is strong and healthy. This time around I have an anterior placenta so I haven't really felt the baby move much. Someday a I completely forget that we have another baby on the way.

I'm really excited about adding to our family, but I am a little scared. I'm not sure if I'm ready to already be halfway to having baby number two.

Girls Trip

Every year a dental spouse organization that I'm a part of holds a conference. I haven't gone in the past due to not having the time off work, or Lacey being too small. This year I decided to go. There are 4 of us "dental wives" going together.
This year it is in Cleveland, we plan to all drive down together and have a good time. We leave next Thursday. It's just starting to hit me that I am going to be leaving Lacey for almost 4 whole days. The longest I've ever been away from her is a couple of hours. I'm a little sad that I won't be here for her. She will have a babysitter one day and then Scott will have her Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. I'm now questioning my decision to go. Things might be a little rough for Scott, or maybe Lacey will forget all about me. Either way I kind of feel like a bad mom for leaving her.

A little Lost

I love being a mom. I love that Lacey loves me more than anyone else in this world. I love that I know her better than anyone else in the world. I love being able to brighten her day. I love seeing her light up as she figures out the world around her. I wouldn't change being her momma for anything.

I have found that I have kind of lost myself. Being a mom means that I don't have all the "me" time hat I once had. Someone asked me what I like to do in my spare time and my first thought was "spare time? I'm a mom, I don't have spare time." Usually at that point in the conversation Scott butts in and starts naming all the things I'm good at.... Or at least I used to be good at them. There are so many things that I used to love, used to be good at, used to be able to say when asked about my hobbies. 

I'm making it a goal to spend Lacey's nap time doing the stuff I used to love, hopefully I can find me again. 

Money always seems to be the problem

Money has been on mind a lot lately. I think it is because I have been thinking about close we are to closing this chapter of our life. It is getting more scary to think about as time goes on. 

This last week I have been really trying to figure out a way that I could make a little extra money on the side. I'm currently nannying for a couple different kids, which puts a little bit of money in the bank, but that will be ending soon and I don't think I am going to want to continue doing it after baby #2 comes. I've thought about an Etsy shop, or trying the whole blog thing again. I've thought about trying to learn graphic design (on my own, so I don't have to pay for school) so I could do some free lance stuff. I know that we probably won't NEED the extra income but I don't think it would hurt either. I wonder if I will get over stressing about money or if I will figure out a new game plan once I'm done nannying. 

Conference weekend

I love conference weekend.  I get to stay at home in my pajamas all day and hear the leaders of the church talk. Man,  I took for granted conference weekend pre-kid. It's so much harder to pay attention when you have a little girl as cute as Lacey running around and wanting to play. I'm going to have to go back and read the talks since I wasn't really able to pay attention.  The thing I love about conference is  how it gives me the kick in the butt I need to work on self improvement, work on being a better mom and wife, and just better in general.

Looking forward to the future

We have about 14 months until we are done with school! The idea of getting into the real world is scary and so exciting to me. I can't wait for Scott to come home and be here me for the day. These days his time home isn't always being home. He has studying, and projects, and assignments. So a lot of the time, even when he is home, he isn't really home with us. Once he is done with school he can come home and enjoy time with us.
Once we are done with school, reality will sink in and I'll realize how in debt we actually are. We will have to really crack down and a be frugal, even if we have a pay check. We are going to be in the red for a long time. I don't think I realized how poor we are going to be after this is all done. I was ignorant to think that once Scott was a dentist life would be great, we would have play money and live a more luxurious lifestyle. I know we will be comfortable even while paying back loans, but I'm still afraid of how all those loans are going weigh down on me. Right now I don't even want to think about how in debt we are, there isn't anything we can do about it at this point.
That being said, I can't wait to join the real world and stop living the student life.

The binky dilemma

Lacey LOVES her binky! Every night before bed she needs to have one in her mouth and another one in her hand.  That is the ONLY way we can get her to fall asleep without a fuss.  Scott wants to start to weak her from the binky. We only allow her to have one (or two) during nap time and bed time. 

When we get her out of bed we make her leave her binkies in her crib.  The last few days I have found her like this in the middle of the day.

She pulls a box over and then attempts to climb up her crib.  Then she gets stuck and won't let go until we come get her.  She's been fairly dramatic about the whole thing.  She will lay down next to her crib and cry. Sometimes if she is acting toed enough I'll ask her off she's ready for a nap. She usually responds yes and will sit in her crib sticking on her binky for a good 20 minutes before asking to get back out.  It's so frustrating.  Scott is wanting to completely wean her and the thought of that is so overwhelming.  Do I first wean her from the hand binky? Or do I take both away,  cold turkey and just try to get through a few REALLY rough nights.

Wish me luck!